Control

I think i've figured it out. My long drive today of 6 hours, the woman that spoke of things that were powerful and right today, the beautiful boy that introduced himself to me last night, the light i saw today, the way it all melted into one single moment of reality.

This is it, the bottom line. I'ts not me, never has been, I am beautiful, yet flawed, striking in character and looks, talented beyond any reason of a doubt, intelligent, unlike any other creature, unique in ways that most don't even think possible. By no means perfect, but yes, extraordinary, rare. They why.. why...

It's always simple. the truth is always simple. the answer came to me in two words; Maturity and control. Unfortunately, many relationships end up on the rocks after a certain change occurs; Maturity.  I seem to attract men that don't understand what a mature realtionship consists of. The moment that a realtionship starts to function as ONE, one bed, email account, FB account, bank statement, etc. As a mature progression begins, an inevitable progression, the war begins for control. Maturity is demanding, demanding of equality, justice for both parties that are now merging into one. But instead of embracing this oneness, it seems that my male counter parts are running the other direction. Instead of seeing the beauty of knowing someone so completely, swimming with their demons and their angels, they see this as something threatening and run the other way. Typically to a younger girl, by at least 5-10 years, one that doesn't displace maturity,One that is ignorant,  one that doesn't know their dark side and would never love them for who they really are if they knew the whole truth. They run to the little girls that will believe anything they tell them, anything they create about themselves,  because they get to CONTROL the entire situation. whereas; they saw me as controlling, demanding, because i knew who they were and wanted to control our lives together. They would have to give up control in a mature realtionship, part of it and channel it into a different form of controlling life. Decisions would be made by both of us, things in life determined by two living as one. Instead of seeing this as beautiful, as a journey of fulfillment and trust, of letting go of all the things that they once manipulated, of trusting someone else other than themselves with their heart and mind, these men see me as the one that wants to order them around, take their life and freedom away from them, take their mask away that they have been fooling everyone with leaving them exposed and vulnerable. Reality instead of the constant onslaught of lies. They would be stripped away of the alter ego they have created, they wouldn't be able to hide behind the fake image created sooth them in their insecure reality. Fear of loosing the control. Fear of people finding out the truth, fear of confronting themselves and who they have really become. So they run to these little girls where they are the puppet masters in control of the stage. They have a controlled world that they created, one where they are the good guy, intelligent, all knowing, helpful with insight to man troubles for these naive children that take the bait, the hero, the star in their world where being happy comes easy because no one demands the truth from them. No one taking their world away from them, no one wants to share it, no one wants to invade it. This is their security blanket that doesn't allow them to mature as human beings. Life without it   would be the mature realtionship, a compromise of two worlds, a knew journey tot he next stage in life; adulthood.

Control to a man is so important. I guess it takes a very secure man to give of his life and show a woman his true side, his deepest and darkest. Then to say to his chosen partner, " this is who i am.  do you love me for who i am? will you spend your life with me even though i am not perfect, even though i have shared things about myself that most don't know, even though i have exposed myself and all i have done and what to do in the future". It takes a truly brave man to have lived a life less angelic and to ask for a woman to take his whole being as is, open book, and love him. It takes courage to face who you are and share it with the one you love. Fear of judgment and fear of giving up and letting go of the control is left behind forever. To give up the show, the fake mask they've been wearing. To finally know what it means to be free, to live the life they've always talked about but has been so frightened to taste. He doesn't know why he can't give up the show. He says he doesn't know why he is the way that he is, or that he doesn't know who he is. It all starts with the realization that he has been living life in fear. Fear of facing the scars that they become them in a life where they felt out of control and the pain that incurred because of it. Fear of losing control to the point where every woman they meet is lied to. She doesn't know about the others they date, talk to, sleep with. None of these girls have a clue. everything is controlled in this micro environment that has become a sadly unrealistic reality that hurts them and everyone involved.In this world everyone might like them, adore them, fall in love with them. Yes, but it's not who they really are, so before things get too real, they  exit and move on to the next dream world they created, and the next,  burying who they are and want to be in the process of lying to others. In doing so they hurt themselves the most.  It would be the mature thing to do... to let go of this fear driven control show. They could have your life back for the first time.

They've dug themselves a hole they can't seem to get out of. Sometimes so close, so close to telling that "one" that they want to be with her. that they want her forever... so close but the fear of losing the control is always there in the back of their heads. The doubt is always in the back of the mind haunting them, threatening them because they haven't let go. fear of sharing the most intimate things in their life, fear of being criticized for being human and being close for the first time. Fear in seeing the truth in all this; in order to have control in life, real control in life over your actions and not ever doubt who you are and that you are capable of, you have to give up the creepy side show that you've spent your teen years and twenties building. At first is was all good fun, the boy with the most girls, the natural experimentation of youth and sex. Some never make it out if they build their reality on running from their past pain, creating this world where they get to call the shots.  But everyone grows up eventually? In one way or another? They have to mature from that childish reality and into the new one where they can be seen as beautiful men when  honest, vulnerable, and humble. The whole world will give them want they want if they just stopped denying who they are. Only then will they finally  find themselves. Only then will they finally see that they have control over the things they felt had control over them.

I wish they would give up the false sense of control... exchange it for the real thing and find most powerful man in the world through their words of honesty and love.

The truth will always set you free.

We are all just Prisoners of our own device

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this could be heaven or this could be hell’
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the hotel california
Any time of year, you can find it here

Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the captain,
’please bring me my wine’
He said, ’we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the hotel california
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said ’we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
’relax,’ said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!

The allegory about hedonism , self-destruction, and greed in the music industry of the late 1970s^. Don Henley called it "our interpretation of the high life in LA" and later reiterated "it's basically a song about the dark underbelly of the American dream and about excess in America, which is something we knew a lot about." It doesn't seems like much has changed since the 70's, doesn't seem like much has changed for men with power, charisma, and success. It's just so sad to me, that these same men that write about the truth of this micro reality, are the same ones that have this love hate realtionship with their life. They were taught that this behavior is self destructive, that these things will ruin them and take them down to the lowest common denominator, they know it, they see it, the feel it, and yet they keep going back, indulging until something tragic happens? until they are old and can't get it up anymore?

I guess there is no way to win in a situation life this. There is no one woman that will be the end all for men like this? Or does one have to be a Sharon Ozzborne and weather the hardest storms? is there life and light and hope in a heart so fragile? can men like this see that there is that one that would be brave enough to stand by their side till death knowing fully well who they are and loving them through it all? Can they change? will they change? are these just temporary hopes of men that want to do right in their life? "You can check out any time you like but you can never leave". You can never escape the past, the scars that have been left. But yes, you can check out. I guess it's up to them when they do and if it's physically, mentally, or both

life is so short, oh time where do you go?

Grass is Greener

Two of my dearest male friends are experiencing something that drives me completely insane. It seems so common now that it makes me completely sad. Both of my friends are more effeminate, sensitive, loyal, honest, emotional, delicate, rather than a typical macho man.  They are the "pussy" in the realtionship by shallow norms of society these days because they don't treat their women like shit. Imagine that, if you don't treat a woman like shit, if you want to relocate for her, put her first, would walk the ends of the world for her you are now the so called "pussy". Fuck, to me that is a real man, a hero that is willing to commit and give fully of himself in this one short life that we have. He knows what he wants, he wants nothing more to be content with someone by his side till his dying day. I wish I were physically attracted to them, they would be mine in 2 seconds time.

So what's the problem you ask? Right... the mediocre bitches that they had the world on a silver platter to just don't know what the fuck they want.  Right, life must be so hard for these dumb educated cunts. They  have everything you wanted in a man but keep jerking him around, moving in, moving out, asking him to fly out for them just to call it off three days before. Fuck, these dumb hoe's have a great job, came from well off families, are completely average in looks and they think they will what??? Brad Pitt in love with them? You know what their problem is? That they had it too good in life. They had a huge house over their head, they had all the new toys, the college education paid for, the perfect jobs out of school, their parents bought them their first car in high school...they don't know what it means to fucking come from nothings and respect the beautiful things that they are blessed with. Spoiled cunts is what they are. Everything handed to them from childhood. They don't know what it's like to live in the middle of a war stricken country, to wait for fucking food for hours upon hours just to get a fucking ration, to find life in immigration camps, to live in shit apartments and cup-o-fucking-noodles for years, to walk to school and the store because you don't own a  fucking car, to play with  the same legos for years, to be so fucking poor that your neighbors bring you food baskets for the holidays.... YOU UNGRATEFUL CUNTS.  They get sex everyday, a man that does the groceries and cooks for their ass, massages them, writes them fucking songs, takes them out every week, finances their businesses, is the biggest fan of their lives, would take a bullet for these average bitches, wants to have their children, talks about being their perfect father,  and yet they have the audacity to tell him that he is amazing but  feel like there is something else out there for them.... but they don't know what that is.  for the third time? wow, fucking wow.

No... fuck the stupid cliche sayings , "they must not be the one for them" or " it wasn't meant to be". Your lawn is perfectly trimmed and green and yet you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Ya, typical American complex ... you give them 2 toys and they will want 4.  You sick people!  sick ungrateful, spoiled cunts, that never knew hardship, that are ignorant through prosperity.  You know what would happen if you lost your perfect job?  If your security were suddenly shaken? You would run to these men like the spoiled cowards you really are, cling to them and drain them of everything. Daddy! daddy! Someone stole my toy, i want another one. Is there are a cure for people like you? will you only see when you have nothing how good you had it? When no one wants your fucking ass will you then return on hands and knees to those that would have done anything for you?

I don't know. I wish i could do something amazing for these wonderful men in my life. Such beautiful minds and hearts, so much to adore...i tell them that although i know it's not what they want to hear. Their hearts are in the same place as this post... i wish i could take away their pain.

You are heros in my heart. You give me hope.

Crawling

Perhaps there wasn't enough warmth in my life, in your life. Perhaps we were told to "man-up" and stop being a pussy all too soon. At an age that was for innocence and  being a child careless to the adult problems that surrounded us. Perhaps we were told we were idiots and stupid through out life. Perhaps no one believed in us because we were constant fuck ups. Perhaps these same people still think we are weak pieces of shit that will continue to fuck our lives up further more. Perhaps those closest to us pushed us to hard too fast when we were young and emotional, volatile. Perhaps we tried to find love and attached ourselves too fast in our early life of love and exploration  just to get used and cheated. Perhaps we tried to find comfort in rebellion because of hardships at home. Perhaps we took too many drugs, or watched as others died from them. I chose to watch the others fall while you perhaps participated. Perhaps we saw too much in comparison to the rest of the norm. It makes sense i guess, i would be the voyeur with the camera in the fast lane of sex, drugs and rock and roll while you would be the sex, drugs and rock and roller.  I watched as grown men as they played in their abundance of all things "sinful". Watched them fall like flies to their guilt, their struggle, their temporary pleasure and their lifetime of pain. Self inflicted wounds built upon those that were there from their childhood and past. Layer after layer, until they cannot find themselves. They don't know who they are. They can't find their way back, but want to. A glimmer of conscience that still becons them back. Nudging them to crawl on their knees to a life of peace and simplicity. That glimmer of the innocent child that found beauty in the most simple of things. That same child that resides still till this day, drunked with fear, sitting in a dark corner, afraid to move... Perhaps we were just smothered with the shit of life that our parents bestowed upon us. Perhaps we drank too much from devils cup, can't identify with reality anymore, can't find the reality that we want in our hearts when  we've become raging addicts of our vice. Perhaps we don't know how to love anymore. Perhaps we are just to scared to, too wounded, too inflicted, too damaged. Perhaps .... perhaps we all have a choice. Perhaps we are the one's that select our path, perhaps we are the ones that finally had enough of self loathing and endless pity parties and become solid rocks of control and passion for all things "right". Perhaps we are the recovering alcoholics that find a second chance at life. Perhaps...



Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling

I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling

-Lincoln Park

no expectations

Not anymore. It's too hard living with hope. Better have no hope and be surprised I guess. What is the  point of hope. Things are the way they are. I am who i am.

i know nothing

why the universe made a gap out of my life. an empty void of cosmic white noise. I was too small for the universe to notice. I was the one helping the old woman collect the spilled content of her purse off the ground and missed my train. perhaps it's karma? What have i done so wrong to deserve being unwanted my whole life? is there such a thing? it's said that the devil rocks the cradle of those with the darkest hearts so they might sleep comfortably at night. Should i start to be a lesser person so that i too might sleep better at night and just become a Faust?  is that why i get the short end of the stick? The one that is so well put together and yet watches as, forgive me i am not directly comparing here, idiots live happy lives in their homes, with their children, their smiles on their faces, their husbands and wives, their money and parties, their vanity, greed, stupidity . All blanketed in a warm bubble of ignorance and bliss.  I don't envy them. I just envy that they are happy with the stupid and shallow shit that they have. Stroking their own ego is enough for them, showing off, taking a million pictures of themselves, being douche bags, living a life so shallow, pretentious,  letting on they are wise and mature while they live off a trust fund mom and dad left them, loving their popularity (1000+ friends on waste book), getting all the boys, getting all the girls, and everyone loving the shit that they live in.  I don't understand? I DON"T FUCKING understand how it's possible? why it works that way? Why can't i find happiness in those stupid things? Why is it these carbon copies love their lives and seem to get everything? While there are single mothers out there that work their asses off, select things in life that will be for the better of the world and their child, love unconditionally, devote themselves to people they allow in their carefully selected life after getting kicked in the ass time and time again by men, that have a mature disposition on life, that no longer seek cheap thrills and popularity, are intuitive, educated, connoisseurs of the better, slower, more passionate and more unique things in life . Why do these people suffer? Is the whole world plagued with the spoils of Hollywood? brainwashed into oblivion? everyone wants to be famous, a model, a rock star an actor. Even if they are educated, have their PHD, they carry on as if 18 still. It's not just some teen dream anymore, it's all carried on into their 20's 30's and  40's +. These pathetic that crave black holes of attention,  their aspirations of being super stars and pretending they are living the life of one never seems to stop. The room spins around me when i think of it. It's like high school never ended. No matter how old the person is. In fact the older the more fucked up. They just get better at pretending they are wise,that they have lived to see it all because they tried it all, and still play the game of shit. later on just drinking more in between their dry streaks of reality. Funny i should say that, my reality is one dry streak, one empty hall way where i sit and talk to myself like an old woman gone crazy.  I cannot fix people. i don't aim to.  I'm stuck in an over populated world where i cannot find a single soul that i would want to want me back. Am i bitter? yes. Angry? sure. Im positive to many these words sound  "wah wah wah" more emo bullshit... to those that are happy in their bubble of what they think is real. I can hear it in their heads now, as i have before,  " like omg, they don't see all the beauty around them! like just look you are not starving, like it could be sooooooo much worse you know, i don't know, you know? like it could be that you are fat and ugly, but like you aren't ".  maybe one day when i want half of the world population to go jump off a bridge I'll write a book about bits of my life. so that the masses can see through the eyes of someone they completely would never understand, wouldn't want to, or do understand but would never want to live a life without their vices of ego stroking ( whatever that might be) and bubble that they call their reality. It's true, i am not starving, i don't have cancer, but to live life and try to find happiness because my life isn't threatened is no way to be happy for me. I can't trick my mind like that.  i guess i am a purist in all things. i want to be happy because i am in love with a person that loves me back. Not try to find happiness in being alone because i am not dying of caner. People try to cheer me up by telling me that there are so many people out there, a sea, o whole fucking sea of men, all there waiting to love me, adore me, give me their love on bended knee. I want to punch them. I will not speed date the sea of penis. My father said it best i think while trying to comfort me in my tears and emptiness. He said, " I know how hard it is to find a good man these days. It's not like it use to be. I see this. I know it hurts".  He is a non symbiotic male realist angry at the world, has his own issues and flaws as we all do, but there is no false bone to him. no fake cheerleader section...just the post world war two mentality that seems to live by the mantra "it is a great risk to be born not to die". Some are just meant to suffer in the shallow crap of the world that they have been "blessed" into. All i know is that i know nothing. The more i live, the less i understand it seems.

Just want one thing in this short life. This very short life that can end at any minute. Love. i wish you could see the hot tears that stream down as i write that word. I wish you could feel my chest cave in. It's so rare to me. so valuable. Unconditional Love.


I send out yet another message in a bottle. another SOS

Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair

I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle

A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart

I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle

Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways
Looking for a home

I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle
Sending out an SOS
- Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner

The Image

The language of symbolism was in common use around the time of Jesus Christ; most people were familiar with the symbolic meanings. The circle is a symbol of God because it has no beginning and no end. The circle or pearl was considered to represent Love, Knowledge (the combination of equal amounts of Love and Knowledge is a symbol of Wisdom, the 2 circles intertwined (owl eyes) is symbolic of Wisdom. Some other pearls are Truth, and Faith.

roll away your stone

I have embraced who I am. I move forward and see through people. See through the situation, ask uncomfortable questions, confront awkward situations. All of it has a meaning, a method... not done out of shear pain or emotion. Truth be told, i know what i am doing because i know who i am and what i cherish in life most. I am the realist, the fighter, the loyalist, i know my abilities in are in a paranormal realm at times. Something i have denied for so long because it's so hard to control what i am capable of.

I can see your torment. The daily shit that weighs you down. How you sweep it all under the rug with excuses of work and temporary ego stroking from a naive fan club to get  you through the day. To feel loved in your empty word. You're infliction, your soul, your abilities, your truth, you ... i see it all. i feel it all. i have consumed you completely.

If you were to die today...what would people think? if every person you had intimate contact with came to your funeral and shared their stories, would they all the be the same story? the same songs that were sent? the same words? would they feel cheated, less special? perhaps at first cheated and then surprised that they were part of a mold, like on a conveyor belt in a factory. That special feeling fading fast with the realization that they were nothing unique. Just a Ibuprofen to sooth the pain temporarily...a band-aid. Would the collective think of you as less special or  not coveted anymore, not what they thought. Would they think you spread yourself around disrespecting your core and throwing caution to the wild, knowing fully well the past will always catch up.

Is my story the only different one? Or am I like all the others that were sent the same songs? The one that stepped behind the curtain because you laid the cookie trail subconsciously. Knowing in your heart i would follow, i would be able to stand up for you, for your dignity, for the real man that waits for his best friends hand to pull him out of quick sand. The one that wasn't afraid to rock the boat, make things uncomfortable so that you could feel what was real again, what it means to live the life you only speak about.

What would people think? what would they respect you for right now at this minute. For your work? For your love of what? of who? Would they respect you for what you have done for them and to them? Or would they be saddened to know the truth?

You are not dead. You life has yet begun. The man that died while decomposing in truths tears was the one that you can no longer keep inside your body and mind. The toxic version of yourself needs to be laid to rest so that you may live as yourself in one unconflicted body with all your talents, passions,  ambitions, love and devotion to the things what make you the most amazing person in the world. So when you do die at an old age amongst the ones you love most and those that love you most, they will have nothing but respect and admiration for how you have changed their life because you have changed yours.




Roll away your stone I'll roll away mine
Together we can see what we will find
Don't leave me alone at this time
For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

you told me that I would find a home
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
Yet it dominates the things I see

It seems that all my bridges have been burned
But you say, "That's exactly how this grace thing works"
It's not the long walk home that will change this heart
But the welcome I receive with every start

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see
Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see

Stars hide your fires
For these here are my desires
And I won't give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in the ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul

And you, you've gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine
-mumford and sons

For You My Love

I see you

a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and
you don't see me.
but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.
so i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
oh well. apparently nothing.
you don't see me.
you don't see me at all.


Libra (♎) is the seventh astrological sign in the Zodiac, The symbol for Libra is the Scales. In Roman mythology, Libra is considered to depict the scales held by Astraea (identified as Virgo), the goddess of justice. Libra is also considered the goddess of balance and truth. She also corresponds with Egyptian mythology as Ma'at, the goddess of the scales or balance.

7 -

The number 7, according to Ambroise, corresponds to the Old Testament but he sees it also as the number representing the virginity. Thibaut of Langres gives also this attribute to this number because it is the only one of the first nine numbers which does not father and the only one which is not fathered. It is considered as virgin and representative of the Holy Spirit to which are attributed the same properties. Macrobe goes in the same way telling that it symbolizes Minerve, born of his father without passing by a mother.

The seven "chakras" (called wheels, Lotus or subtle centers) according to the hindouists: Muladhara, Swadhistana, Manipura, Anahata, Vishuddha, Ajna and Sahasrara.

A Tibetan manuscript has a title "The seven books of the Wisdom of the Great Path".

The seven fundamental notes, or modulations, of the musical scale.

Symbol of eternal life for the Egyptians: it symbolizes a complete cycle, a dynamic perfection.

Perfect number and symbol of the divine abundance, it is also according to the Bible the number of the punishment, the purification and the penitence. It is also attributed to Satan who tries to copy God being the monkey of God. Also the infernal beast of the Revelation (Rv 13,1) has seven heads.

In Africa and for the Bambaras of Senegal, seven is a symbol of the perfection and the unity.

The seven virtues. Three theologicals: faith, hope, love - or charity. Four cardinals: force, justice, prudence and temperance.

The number seven is a characteristic of the Virgin Mary: the seven mysteries of the rosary commemorating the pains of the Virgin Mary; we represent the Virgin with a crown of seven roses to a heart and also seven daggers stung in her heart (from where the designation "Our-Lady of the Seven Pains"), 3 on a side and 4 of the other; the seven feasts of the Virgin Mary celebrated in the catholic Church: the purification, the Annunciation, the Visitation, the Assumption, the Nativity, the presentation of the Virgin and the Immaculate Conception; the Christians of the first centuries were making born the Virgin Mary gave birth after seven months of gestation.

The seven capital sins, corresponding to the seven material desires: the pride, the avarice, the impurity, the envy, the greed, the anger and the laziness.

The seven pillars of the Wisdom.

Ghost

I'm a ghost. Empty. Lifeless. Frightened.

More Love

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

Mother Tereasa



An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

Gandhi