DICHOTOMY
noun, plural -mies.
1. division into two parts, kinds, etc.; subdivision into halves or pairs.
2. division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action.
3. Botany . a mode of branching by constant forking, as in some stems, in veins of leaves, etc.
4. Astronomy . the phase of the moon or of an inferior planet when half of its disk is visible.
I guess it really is all fucking sad. Dichotomy, to me, is the saddest word in the human language. Every last word that is said will have the contradictory action. Why? "I don't know" , would be the cliche response expected from most people that don't want to give anything too much thought. The 99% of people that just do things because they felt like it at the moment and regret it the next day. The "i don't knows" of the world. The walking dichotomies of super foods, yoga, understanding, consciousness, loyalty and everything wonderful in words and easy actions, but the opposite of such in the depths of their heart. The light of the moon and then the dark and twisted area of the same orb. I know this, i fail to understand as life is SO simple to live the right way. I know it is there, the dark in all of us, but reasoning as stands makes no logical argument that has any purpose but to destroy all that is good, pure, logical and beautiful. Why do it at all? why listen to something so primal, instincts that only scar, tear, and make things so difficult to move on from? why? WHY THE FUCK DO IT? Why shit in your own bed? Because you are scared that you might fall along the way to the bathroom?
The division of one soul into two parts that are like oil and water. Constantly touching but never mixing. Aware of each other completely and consciously co-existing for the thrill and excitement. I guess life is more exciting in a war zone of sorts then in peace and harmony. The constant addiction and craving that men have for this "drama" they hate so much and create daily; within themselves and their surrounding.
To:
The fake vs real. The man that lives for yoga retreats and health in such extremes; meditating, sending spiritual blessings to others, aligning his chakras and educating people on the importance of cleansing of the soul. But in reality the 200+ fucks that he keeps stored in his iphone, the porn flick he filmed and is so proud of, and the constant talk of which model pussy he will fuck today is more than anyone person could ever understand or want to. At first his charm and sensibility fool you to think he is a person some kind of moral standard, some really goodness, but in reality it's nothing more than bait. So his parents were selfish fucks that never held him enough, so he was fucking fat ass kid and couldn't get a date in high school. SO FUCKING WHAT ! Lying to women, one by one, working out to masturbate over his own physique, eating an amazing diet because he is to afraid to die, all of it is just one big fucking sadistic joke. Afraid to live a real life, afraid of responsibility, and real satisfaction in it. He is nothing. He chose this life and loves it... he'll love it until one day he contracts aids or something perhaps worse. His light side is a dark farce and you are nothing more than a clown in a crumbling circus. A walking dichotomy from the outside, but in reality this man has only one very sad side. He is trash with no moral or personal value upon this earth. His intellect buried with the likes of his chakras and humanity. He has no soul. How can he? Living only for himself and his ego, he will never understand the meaning of life. Demoting himself to clump of carbon and dna that is more like a cancer on the world. There is no division in his case. No dichotomy. He is aware of what he is and that he does chooses to do in this life. i have no pity on you. His charisma, out going personality, playful wit and lovable appeal are just a decoy to score the next piece of ass, the next chick that will suck his dick. You are a rapist that persuades women into believing you want to love them.
To the boy that likes to play with fire:
This is where the true dichotomy stands. The Peter Pan that speaks of growing up as if it is the very thing he lives for. The family he wants, the beautiful wooden table in the dining room filled with art and the smell of espresso. The promises of "forever" and "you are stuck with me, you have no choice". He was right. I am stuck with him in my heavy heart forever. I can't turn away from the light that he brought into my life.; so real, so intoxicating. The constant consideration, the beautiful gestures, the love in his eyes, the truth and warmth. . . i don't want to let it go.
Peter Pan wants to grow up but can't seem to find his way out of Neverland. A land where he will never be with his true love, the land that injected fear into his soul leaving him powerless to fight. No strength to reach for Tink's tiny hand. No will to correct what has been done wrong, as if some black whole came and stole his heart, burying it under Hell's frozen pound. This cold and lonely Neverland has destroyed my Peter for such a long time. Showing him pictures of his childhood pain and torment, beating his ego into a worthless cunt which can't do anything other but linger in the depths of confused purgatory. Fear stopping him at every exit, " you'll do it again. you are worthless and you will only hurt her. you did what you hate most", and last but not least, " you are worse than those before you whom have kick your Tink into a shallow grave".
I fell in love with a man that showed me what he could be. But he doesn't exist now. It was all a fairytale in my mind. A lovely tale of a boy and girl that fell so deeply in love that they are immortals in a godless world. Perhaps Peter never wanted to leave Neverland? Perhaps he is there at his own free will because the delights are so gratifying in the short term? Why grow up? Why ever grow up when you can have free "delights" on a daily basis? A platter full of temptation. Perhaps the pain and the struggle where all a way to let me down easy? " It's not you Tink, it's me. I'm sorry i have failed you, you don't deserve to be treated this way, so i will leave now." A quick and painless exit without looking like too much of a spineless cunt. I guess that is easier to say than, " I'm not in love with you, but you were a good time. Thanks but no thanks, i have the thrill of better booty to chase and conquer."
I guess... i will never know what lies inside any man's heart. All i know is that he had mine, completely and entirely. I wish Peter would grow up... it must be so lonely to keep running for so many years from his "perfect match". I wish only to see a full moon with light blazing through the galaxy.
the vision ain't never clean when the ego just keeps on feeding
as soon as i stop believing my demons start interfering
begin to act on the meaning
the essence of my whole being gets rusted and so corrupted when life is already pleading
eating
rhetoric is the deeding, the purpose of discovery of your own path getting closer to love
universal law is the only one i can trust
the man made will fade one day I say now
what do we fight for, don't you know things aren't the same anymore
...
...
...
I can see where you and me can be, it's ingression of faith and you can't imitate
i can see where you and me could be , so what we fightin for?
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