Words

love
   [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
too often I hear men write or say "i have love for you " ... Do they even know what they say? what the word LOVE means?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

The Difference

Came by this today. It's simple and straight forward... but so true.

It read:

Here's to all the real men out there
Boys play house, men build homes
Boys make babies, men raise children
A boy won't raise his own child, a man will raise someone else's
Boys invent excuses for failure, Men produce strategies for success
Boys look for someone to take care of them, men look for somebody to take care of
boys seek popularity, men demand respect and know how to give it


Life doesn't come with an instruction manual.  As long as we have occupied this planet we have made the same mistakes over and over again. Not learning from our elders, being foolish and stubborn and egotistical. Such a small and shallow way to live. I don't feel sorry for those that live in poverty but have true love, i feel sorry for those that have everything they could ever want and squander it on nothing... throw out their precious gifts. Live an empty life. I'd rather die young and be poor and have said that i truly loved than to have an empty heart with vast amounts of fake shit around me and live forever.

Why any coward wouldn't want to be a man? i don't know... i can't relate to fear, to selfishness, to excuses, to complications made to dodge all that is real and pure in life, to escape love and the beauty that comes with it.

He once told me: "People create drama and bullshit in their lives because they are so unhappy with their own life, because they are jealous of what we have. "

I ask myself now what happened to that man?

At NIght

I feel you fall asleep, after the lost thoughts tear into you all day. After you are destroyed with the inner struggle of you and i. I feel you drift away to a safer place. I leave my body each night  and hover around you, study your peaceful face, your chest moving up and down, watch the pulse on your neck, your eyes flicker with movement as you dream of our life together, of your safe home. My spirit lays down beside you each night, i wrap my arms around your body, hold your hand as you sleep. I kiss your lips and watch over you my love.

I wake each morning between 4-5 am because i know you are awake.


drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Olive Oil and Bread

The most amazing things in my life are so simple. Olive oil and bread. Comfort that i get from knowing that nothing nourishing  needs to be over the top, doesn't need anything artificial. The best things are simple as cotton, as untainted and unselfish love, a good wine with dinner perhaps, a  real cappuccino and a conversation with a kiss, a drawing done by a 5 years old, making love slowly while looking into his eye... as simple and certain as Bob Marley.  Nothing hidden, all ingredients to life are so basic, so simple for truth to let you live a life with such satisfaction. The wiser you get the most simple your life becomes. You don't want the fancy dining, the fake parade of shit... just some olive oil and bread, perhaps some salt and garlic.

Missing

Missing is the coffee, the two sugars the raw
the touch, the warmth of your hands
Missing are the perfect flaws, the gestures of devotion
the life that allowed me to live mine
Missing are the playful taunts, the child like innocence
the purity that was the love i desired above all
Missing are the tender lips that said so many things
I've never heard before, that kissed my core
Missing is the simplicity in which all flowed, in which all was
perfect, unbroken, clear , passionate
Missing is the mate that made my short stay here complete
that allowed me to love more than i ever have, to be more than ever, to
give of myself with such joy... through the thick and the thin, through the biology and psychology of nature that resides in both of us.
Missing is my muse to life
Missing is that love that made me understand mistakes on the primitive basis and rise above the pathetic human conditions and constant squandering of minutes.

There is something missing in my life, now
breath perhaps... the desire to wake up each morning to find you next to me.
I blame the thief  called fear , insecurity, and deception for coming like the Snow Queen
I search for you as Gerda did for Kai, the heroine that saved her love from an eternity of a frozen heart
Simplicity of understanding the meaning of life was there
the logic and reason, the 6th sense connection was something that rivaled those old beautiful people that spend their whole lives together
I still feel you. every minute of the day, the things you do, the chest pains you get, the unrest, the stone in your sternum lifting as your heart tries to beat from under it. I feel you so intensely i cry, for no reason, i break down because i can feel what you feel from thousands of miles away. . .

I don't have to be missing
you don't have to be lost.
it's unnatural. so against our nature.
why give in to this world and the constant injection of doubt and fear
look what it's done to us. to you...

The Forgotten

I am the forgotten, the flawed past that a lover doesn't want to take on
I am the forgiver that bends light to love, but will never be forgiven for her one regretful choice
I'm the girl that men dream about but don't want to allow inside their soul 
I am the condemned, the tainted and the spoiled
I'm the girl that is teased with promises of love behind a thick glass window
I can only look but not touch, i can only watch as others kiss, touch, say tender words and love, while i drown inside from tears
I am the girl locked away in " all summer in a day", it's the story of my life
A starving girl that is forced to stand in front of the bakery, to smell lifes goodness but to starve slowly
Love tortures me with the memories and dreams of what was my bliss, my joy, my heart of life
I am tortured with future visions of my lover giving his best to someone other than me
I am the beggar, my chest pounding with fear as i wait for loves verdict
Awaiting to hear life's judge sentence me to the electric chair or give me eternal life
I am the one locked out of her home, pleading to come back in pleading for loves shelter and warmth, something i lived without for decades
Burning tears drip from my heavy heart, it's hard to move, hard to breath, hard to want to be here
I am the one that love can't be bothered with, the girl that love over looked
I must be nothing in his eyes, not worth the fight, not worthy the exchange, not worth his forever Yet,  I have been teased with love and the word "forever" that fell from his beautiful lips dozens of times
" you are stuck with me forever, you have no choice"
" I don't want a choice"
I have felt the passion run through my blood, energy of a soul mate, the friendship of truth...
Just to have it ripped from my grasp, torn from my chest like a baby by the Nazis  ... indian giver
I am the pathetic realist that knows that nothing else in life is worth living for
I am the anti materialist that knows paper, vast amounts of shit and success will never make my heart beat, will never love me back
I am the damned that is forced to live a life that has no meaning to it, without a pulse
I am the one that will wander like an empty bag of bones, dead inside from the constant burns, paralyzed with reality
nothing tastes good, nothing smells good, nothing sounds sweet, nothing makes me smile,
everything is pointless, lifeless, stillness is my enemy as minutes turn to years, they can't go by fast enough...my soul sucked out by hell into an eternity of screeching pain
each day a struggle to have purpose
I wait for the electric chair, i wait to be the forgotten

Re: Tinka

You said that you didn't know why you were writing.

I have a faint idea, let me take a stab at it. ..

Because it burns in your chest. All of it. Your whole existence has been questioned, has been challenged. You can't ignore it any longer. It's come to that; the door in your life that stands before you. The moment in your universe that won't let you go back to what you were because you have changed already. Every second that goes by, your heart burns, asks, churns with pain and logic, understanding that life has taken you down the rabbit hole. As each minute goes by your chemistry and blood have sided against the demons on your mind. Your own body is changing, warring, because it's tired of the abuse your mind has put it through. it's been too long since you felt your tender skin under the callous ; the revolution has begun. The realization of taking the blue pill and seeing the truth that has lingered and eaten at you for what seems an eternity of wasted time and space. You knew about it before you met me; " I always knew there was some one behind the one I was with, and the one after that"...

To go back to the red pill would mean to live a life filled with the emptiness that ate at you prior, to live in shadows and destruction of your being. To deny all that you have ever wanted and dreamt of. To chose that rabbit hole is to start anew, find true peace, true breath, truth in general of who you can be and what you were truly meant to do, who you were meant to love in all purity and devotion.

It's nothing short of a rebirth. To push through the channel of my light, my love and feel it's walls of compassion contracting on your soul. Being born into a new world as the same person with a clean outlook on life and all it has to offer.
Letting go. Letting go of the past and all the hoarding of garbage, the collection of empty relationships that threw you a scrap of manipulated attention you wanted for that minute in time, in your hours of endless desperation and denial. the trash that has filled your mind so that you have no room to move around anymore; suffocated by nothingness.

Let it go. Throw it all out. Clean your mind of the past, stripe the lead paint off your soul and let it breath fresh air. Allow yourself to open windows and let the fog clear out. Allow the old stale stinch that makes shit smell like a rose to evaporate. No need to let the scolding water to run so that he mirror fogs up. No need for self destruction, you have already destroyed so much that only i can still see the glimmers of truth and love that run through your vines. only i have the courage, the will and the love to go back into your burning building to search for you, risk my heart to pull you out; give you air.

Even if you don't open windows to let the steam out, it will eventually disappear and you will have to face the man in the mirror. It's inevitable. You cannot stay in this place any longer.

Twin Flames

man down

The Great Dichotomy

DICHOTOMY
noun, plural -mies.

1. division into two parts, kinds, etc.; subdivision into halves or pairs.

2. division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action.

3. Botany . a mode of branching by constant forking, as in some stems, in veins of leaves, etc.

4. Astronomy . the phase of the moon or of an inferior planet when half of its disk is visible.

I guess it really is all fucking sad. Dichotomy, to me, is the saddest word in the human language. Every last word that is said will have the contradictory action. Why? "I don't know" , would be the cliche response expected from most people that don't want to give anything too much thought. The 99% of people that just do things because they felt like it at the moment and regret it the next day. The "i don't knows" of the world. The walking dichotomies of super foods, yoga, understanding, consciousness, loyalty and everything wonderful in words and easy actions, but the opposite of such in the depths of their heart. The light of the moon and then the dark and twisted area of the same orb. I know this, i fail to understand as life is SO simple to live the right way. I know it is there, the dark in all of us, but reasoning as stands makes no logical argument that has any purpose but to destroy all that is good, pure, logical and beautiful. Why do it at all? why listen to something so primal, instincts that only scar, tear, and make things so difficult to move on from? why? WHY THE FUCK DO IT? Why shit in your own bed? Because you are scared that you might fall along the way to the bathroom?


The division of one soul into two parts that are like oil and water. Constantly touching but never mixing. Aware of each other completely and consciously co-existing for the thrill and excitement. I guess life is more exciting in a war zone of sorts then in peace and harmony. The constant addiction and craving that men have for this "drama" they hate so much and create daily; within themselves and their surrounding.

To:

The fake vs real. The man that lives for yoga retreats and health in such extremes; meditating, sending spiritual blessings to others, aligning his chakras and educating people on the importance of cleansing of the soul. But in reality the 200+ fucks that he keeps stored in his iphone, the porn flick he filmed and is so proud of, and the constant talk of which model pussy he will fuck today is more than anyone person could ever understand or want to. At first his charm and sensibility fool you to think he is a person some kind of moral standard, some really goodness, but in reality it's nothing more than bait. So his parents were selfish fucks that never held him enough, so he was fucking fat ass kid and couldn't get a date in high school. SO FUCKING WHAT ! Lying to women, one by one, working out to masturbate over his own physique, eating an amazing diet because he is to afraid to die, all of it is just one big fucking sadistic joke. Afraid to live a real life, afraid of responsibility, and real satisfaction in it. He is nothing. He chose this life and loves it... he'll love it until one day he contracts aids or something perhaps worse. His light side is a dark farce and you are nothing more than a clown in a crumbling circus. A walking dichotomy from the outside, but in reality this man has only one very sad side. He is trash with no moral or personal value upon this earth. His intellect buried with the likes of his chakras and humanity. He has no soul. How can he? Living only for himself and his ego, he will never understand the meaning of life. Demoting himself to clump of carbon and dna that is more like a cancer on the world. There is no division in his case. No dichotomy. He is aware of what he is and that he does chooses to do in this life. i have no pity on you. His charisma, out going personality, playful wit and lovable appeal are just a decoy to score the next piece of ass, the next chick that will suck his dick. You are a rapist that persuades women into believing you want to love them.

To the boy that likes to play with fire:

This is where the true dichotomy stands. The Peter Pan that speaks of growing up as if it is the very thing he lives for. The family he wants, the beautiful wooden table in the dining room filled with art and the smell of espresso. The promises of "forever" and "you are stuck with me, you have no choice". He was right. I am stuck with him in my heavy heart forever. I can't turn away from the light that he brought into my life.; so real, so intoxicating. The constant consideration, the beautiful gestures, the love in his eyes, the truth and warmth. . . i don't want to let it go.

Peter Pan wants to grow up but can't seem to find his way out of Neverland. A land where he will never be with his true love, the land that injected fear into his soul leaving him powerless to fight. No strength to reach for Tink's tiny hand. No will to correct what has been done wrong, as if some black whole came and stole his heart, burying it under Hell's frozen pound. This cold and lonely Neverland has destroyed my Peter for such a long time. Showing him pictures of his childhood pain and torment, beating his ego into a worthless cunt which can't do anything other but linger in the depths of confused purgatory. Fear stopping him at every exit, " you'll do it again. you are worthless and you will only hurt her. you did what you hate most", and last but not least, " you are worse than those before you whom have kick your Tink into a shallow grave".

I fell in love with a man that showed me what he could be. But he doesn't exist now. It was all a fairytale in my mind. A lovely tale of a boy and girl that fell so deeply in love that they are immortals in a godless world. Perhaps Peter never wanted to leave Neverland? Perhaps he is there at his own free will because the delights are so gratifying in the short term? Why grow up? Why ever grow up when you can have free "delights" on a daily basis? A platter full of temptation. Perhaps the pain and the struggle where all a way to let me down easy? " It's not you Tink, it's me. I'm sorry i have failed you, you don't deserve to be treated this way, so i will leave now." A quick and painless exit without looking like too much of a spineless cunt. I guess that is easier to say than, " I'm not in love with you, but you were a good time. Thanks but no thanks, i have the thrill of better booty to chase and conquer."

I guess... i will never know what lies inside any man's heart. All i know is that he had mine, completely and entirely. I wish Peter would grow up... it must be so lonely to keep running for so many years from his "perfect match". I wish only to see a full moon with light blazing through the galaxy.



the vision ain't never clean when the ego just keeps on feeding
as soon as i stop believing my demons start interfering
begin to act on the meaning

the essence of my whole being gets rusted and so corrupted when life is already pleading
eating
rhetoric is the deeding, the purpose of discovery of your own path getting closer to love
universal law is the only one i can trust
the man made will fade one day I say now
what do we fight for, don't you know things aren't the same anymore
...
...
...
I can see where you and me can be, it's ingression of faith and you can't imitate
i can see where you and me could be , so what we fightin for?

If i ...

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white when I come into Your Kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the loving of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand
there's a boy here in town says that he'll love me forever
Whoever thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life oh Well,
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
what I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts,
I'll sell em' for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
and maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing
funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove 
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

-band perry

I must have been wrong

I must have been wrong about it all. I believed every word and hung on to them as if they were the most valuable and rarest commodity on earth. They were. They were promises and words that i have never heard before. Thoughts of love and emotion and logic that were only things i would have dremt of to come out of a man's mouth.

I can go on about it all. The magical energy, the chemistry, the love beyond words, the connection and the senses...the way he knew each thought running through my head by the way i played with my hair. But the sad reality i have to face is a simple one. I try to give myself hope by clinging to his words of love  believing that when he said, " my love for you can conquer anything" that he meant it. But... but... but... He's too attractive. He can have any any piece of 19 year old pussy at any moment and does. They wait for him like vultures over a carcass, eying his presence on stage and drooling for attention. They spread their legs for him willingly and gleefully slide on his dick hoping he will message then the next day for more. This trash... this shallowness. This fake attention and dirt. Club to club it's everywhere. How can any man grow up from something like that? how can he want to be with only one woman if he can have plenty of hot young ass at his ever whim and desire. Of coarse it would be hard for him to commit even to the most beautiful, most intelligent, talented creature on earth. How can he give all that up for a life of beauty, light, purity and love.  He spoke of it all the time. I was the "one". I was finally what he had been looking for his whole life. I am it no questions asked.

I guess i wasn't enough. My love was more than his love. My looks must have not been enough for him, after all there are so many beautiful woman to choose from. Our common interests were all aligned as perfect as puzzle pieces, our constant talk of art, design, music, coffee, where to live and how next year will be on tour was all intoxicating, but i guess that wasn't enough either. I was just a rest stop for him between shows. Gourmet food and coffee and good sex. An added collection to his on going list of women he fucked before me probably promising them the same. I've been played by a man that says i am the most amazing thing in his life but wants to leave it because he cannot commit. So i have to take it as such. I was used. As i was used by all the men before him. In the same way. I gave those before him my "love" and my services of my talents,  my 100% even though i never experienced love as i did with HIM. Yes, i am guilty of giving him my whole soul. I didn't guard it enough. Sadly, i gave it all. I gambled away all my money on a beautiful stallion  that gave me the ride of my life and ran out as quickly as he trotted in.

So i rest my soul. I lay it away in a small hole under a beautiful willow by a pond. Where it is quiet. Where no one will hear it cry. No one will hear it weep. I'm done with hearing others cliche statements about how i will find a wonderful man and the sea is full of fish. I only have one heart and i have to draw the line somewhere. My heart is so fragile. So weak. My soul has retired from the constant trampling of love's hooves. I rest it there, in that magical meadow and replace it with a stone from it's pond.  It's just to painful to feel anything anymore. Evey thing around reminds me of him ... i don't want to feel joy any more. I don't want to feel love anymore. I don't want to feel hope anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I am just an empty soul, a body filled with organs that continue living without a heart.

Rest in peace my heart.


I use to cry as a little girl when i watched Julia Roberts drive away from her lover. He couldn't commit to her, he wanted his own life after she changed his. I would watch Pretty Woman over and over again. I would cry every time even though i knew he came back for her and that they lived happily ever after.
I never got that ending. My endings are sad and filled with pain. I cry now as i cried when i was 10 when i hear this song. 

Soul mate

My soulmate torn my soul in two
Now I live with half
I yearn that he return to me
On his own behalf

My spirit is half empty
My heart a constant hole
He fit in those empty place
He filled my hallowed soul

I wish he'd understand
That loves not a perfect dance
I wish he'd hold my hand
Give our love a fighting chance

A higher love we were given
But human fear stole his heart
I have faith his path will point
To the heaven that waits apart

For i am here my soul, my love
In same spot like our coffee shop
I wait for your return my soul
I love u like no other, my perfect and pure dove

Holding Out

He told me that his life had meaning to it now. A reason beyond materialism and success. I believed him. I was never happier. I never will be.

Fear takes over so quickly. As if money, logistics, career choices, all things man-made had anything to do with raw compassion and loyal love. Would he give up the soulmate because of difficultly annoying obstacles created by idiots and the distance between them only retire to an occasional fuck with no soulful connection...

Perhaps it's the fear to move on and grow in life. Start something new. Move away from what is familiar and built up around you. Do what you love but now with the one you love.

No... I can write forever. Spin it a million different ways. Truth is he knows all of it. Intelligence is nothing more than a word in his palm. Perhaps it not fear? Not change and progress. Perhaps it's just desire and effort. Does one desire to work hard for something amazing or will they settle for good enough.

I'd shovel shit til I die just to hold his hand until my last breath. Perhaps it's not successful, appealing, inspirational, nor attractive to most. Some will think it foolish to give up you ambitions for love. I have already made friends with reality and know that my ambitions and successes will never love me back. And if I should fall in love with my ego, I will still be alone. Humble and honest love is the most amazing gift. Sure it would be better to be successful and in love, but really does it work? Success and love? From my experience those that struggle together understand the worth of love. They have over come through hardship and lessons. Those that have it easy get bored and love to them is like that new car they get each year; Replaceable. It becomes nothing more than a tax benefit.

Why hold out? Why complicate that which is plain as day? Why complicate something so natural?

Cappuccino with two sugars in the raw please.

Effect

I wish i had this profound story book ability to have this kind of effect on men. Where they are drunk of my presence for all eternity. Where they can't get enough, nothing in the world could pull them away from me. A natural gravitation pull that just happens and both parties sink into it like vanilla ice cream atop of hot sticky date pudding. It could exist, this effect i am speaking of. Commonly mistaken for love i can only quess at this point. I've seen it and I've felt it, i want it on a constant dose like a slow and stead IV.  i can only wield love temporarily it seems and then my appeal must fade away like old perfume. just a faint trail of what the first sprtiz smelled like. Or is this how men are in general? they are on fire for you and nothing could be better and then they overdose and you're just there. You're just left there standing wondering why that flame just got dim. He came and he didn't wait for you. The longer i live the more i don't understand. Consistence is such a rare gift. Consistency paired with love is like finding a natural perfect  huge pearl in the middle of the ocean. I am so simple. I require so little. A drop of water daily to grow. But the only drops of water are the tears that fall from my eyes.

Farewell to the Fairground

The light still in our eyes
We're leaving this old fairground behind
It's a dream that's growing cold
The circus never dies
The act forever haunts these skies
I know we cannot stay

Farewell to the fairground
These rides aren't working anymore
Goodbye to this dead town
Until the ice begins to thaw

This place used to gleam
I'd see it in my hopeful dreams
Now I have to get away
We move towards the stars
And all that we touch becomes ours
Let's keep warm 'til it's day

Farewell to the fairground
These rides aren't working anymore
Goodbye to this dead town
Until the ice begins to thaw
We'll head south just hold my hand now
I feel like I'm casting off my clothes
And I'm running through the snow towards the sunset
And I'm always with you

Keep on running
Keep keep on running
There's no place like home
There's no place like home

-white lies

All Pourch Dogs Waiting

There were wounds that were licked and healed.
there were words that healed and licked
there were exchanges that lived a life on their own
they never had to end
they never had to go
i was always there
i was always here
i was only sitting still
and then one day a a golden cage came
and captured me
though the words where there
and the life they lived were free
they didn't pursue
they wouldn't come to capture me
so then they disappeared
the words dove into a black hole of their own
existing there and waiting like a porch dog does
it's wasn't my choice
it wasn't part of the poem

star

i am that star that sits among the galaxy
with nothing but the vast eternity
surrounding me
it holds me tight
it's all i have to call my lover
no other
no other
i shine for all to see
their eyes look towards the sky
but they cant find me
eternity
it will welcome me
it will hold me tight
like a lover
no other
no other
i wish to join the stars
walking this cold earth is not for me
i want to be held in the arms of eternity

I am

...the girl that no one will dance with.

you tell me

You tell me it's no excuse
you're sorry
you will learn from your mistakes
yet the next day is a repeat of the last
oh little boy when will you grow up finally
when will you see beyond your own selfish pleasures
when will you understand that one day you will not dance all night
you will not drink all night
you will not smoke all night
you will not flirt all night
and after the party is done you will be alone in your bed
crying, like you did when you met me

you tell me the things i want to hear
then swindle me with excuses and anger
i give you undeniable purity and love on a golden platter
you eat from it turn around and then eat from the platter of a Dionysian God
i can't compete with such temporary spoils
i am not that shallow
i would never entertain it, i know what i offer and stand for

you tell me such beautiful hopes and dreams
you tell me that you yearn for something real
i stand before you with arms open and warm
something you can count on for the rest of your life
but when handed it you take the first opportunity that life hands you
your success and fame and glorification over takes your true beauty and you think only of pleasuring your body
when you tell me you are of the heart is this a Gypsy speaking?
your mannerism takes a sharp turn the instance you leave my side

I tell you i hurt
i go to my room and pretend i walk this earth alone
there is no one but me
no one can hurt me and i won't cry

Little boy, you tell me you want to grow up?
i must have misunderstood