Stop

I guess I ran out of excuses

You Fooled Me Good, Really Good

Truth Always Stings

Fair Warning

Paper War

What do I say what do I say
cuz I know I come a long long way

what do I say what do I say
cuz I know life aint a game you play

cuz when you drop the ball and take the fall
it don’t mean you have to take nothin at all

take nothing from those that give

give love to those that live
speak truth to those that fall
from where you were now you stand tall

not on a street corner to brag your story but in your heart
behind closed doors
you reep the glory ...

of wisdom -
where you have truth open up the gates to your kingdom

part from the false skin you once wore those whores and blunts
they were a bad joke nothing more that life was fake and it all tore

tore like paper in your paper war

what can I say what can I say
cuz I know I come a long long way

what can I say what can I say
I know life aint a game you play

2/9/14 9:19 PM

a war waged through your entire soul the battle bled and made a hole
that you filled
with the things that spilled

into the lives of those you loved- but killed

inside, with your pride
and there you stood tryin to hide
they gave-
they took a shot for you and lay in a grave and said prayers for you
for whom the bell tolls ,rest in peace
your fake skin, fake war
now you have a new lease

a new direction in life problems you made; gone away from the strife
so close those old doors change the locks

fuck those whores
that bleed you like leeches
when you fed them your speeches bout things that never existed
all along it was the good you resisted

what can I say what can I say
cuz I know I come a long long way

what can I say what can I say
I know life aint a game you play

the reality didn’t match the fantasy
it never does!
when you fight truth and make your own just bcuz

you stop moving forward you stun your growth
to childhood promises you kept your oath
you now know that this life aint what you thought it would be now you must see ,now you must see
see clearly
and have it be done
so rest, rest in peace my son...
come a new day
another one
you’ll walk in a kingdom with wise old men
pride of a different sort
now you can begin

what can I say what can I say
cuz I know I come a long long way

what can I say what can I say
I know life aint a game you play 

Queen

You asked her to stand by you 
you begged her to guide you through 
the dark hallways of your mind 
lost pathways made you blind 
to all the glory and the love you had
Trading in that queen for something very sad 
all the bullets she took 
the wisdom that she shook 
in the mirror take a 
look 
Take a look

Read what she's written in your book 

the life she showed you was clear 

a world with no excuses 
the world with no fear 
no lies 
cutting your ties 
from the failed tries
She lifted you up so you might rise  above all the trauma 
the split personality drama 
blamin your daddy's and your mama

Hiding from truth between dirty sheets
one after another
Just meats and cheats
Destroying your self 
condemning your light 
To a  cycle of hell 
That torturous cell 
where you convince yourself that you are well
That u alright
But in thinkin that u lost the fight
U thinkin it to show ur spite 
Let the devil dance in that delight 
Devil don't even wanna take bite

Used to know what class is
now are you jerking off to trashes 

best put on your glasses
Take off them sun glasses

Going for them simple bitches 
you think it bewitches 
you bangin witches 
you hit all the wrong switches
Pollute ur wit 
Cuz you bag a lot of shit 
and bags get heavy 
baggin hoes like groceries 
To set ur mind at ease
beware karma imposes that levy 
she come collecting what is due 
from the universe 
and from you

You had a queen that waited for you
Took the back seat for u
To guide u through
cracked your shell so you could fly 
touch the sky 
in your mind so u can rely 
on your third eye 
to face the truth that makes you cry
You put your queen between the bullet in the trigger
thought you could have something better and bigger
She allowed you to lean on her like a rock 
and she swallowed the shock 
she reached out her hand with Grace even when you kicked her in the face 
to save you from sinking in your own shit 
she pulled you through she took to the hit

You had a queen 
you at home
now you alone
Now you alone

Three Legged Wolf

In your snow , I'm your cold 

I wander towards your trap

Not knowing it's there

I turn my head

I look away I hear a snap

Blood on the snow

there's blood on the snow

who will see who

will know

There's no one here but me

there's no one here to see

the pain

the strain

The screams from inside they linger they hide

The jaws of your trap chew to the bone

I'm here alone - so alone

My heart is in shock my mind turns to stone

Why did you set it?

Why did you let it,

cripple me this way?

So you can have your way?

While I chew my own leg off

I chew through my bones

set aside mental stones

so I can release myself

Walk myself

Love myself

Live myself

On three legs now

I have three legs now

A three legged Wolf 

I am a three-legged Wolf

Hear my cry in your mind at night follow the blood in the snow

you know where to go

So go there ... Go

You know where the Trap is

you put it there

go and stare

At my blood

At my rotting limb

At the flood of my red tears in the snow so you know

so you know

I am a three legged Wolf now because of your blow

For you Moscow — fire fire

She sat there and thought about writing for a long time. She was sick of her own voice, she was sick of the cruelty of her thoughts, she was sick of his reckless strolls down memory lane on Instagram, sick for his infantile pleas for attention on social media, she was sick of the recklessness altogether. She sat down at a dingy old desk at the library. It was dirty, it was ruined and written on, it was used. It reminded her who she had become. Reminded her of how men treated her. Just someplace to do the writing, stable legs to do their business on, scratch their name into its surface with a car key, write a couple of letters on to all the different pussy that they had to micromanage, eat a hot meal on and then leave not even cleaning up after themselves.

The lettter began: 

Dear CV or whatever name you were given first at birth,

There are no words  I can find to explain the mental disillusion that has become my existence. All that was a reality to me has been ripped away from me like a unborn child from the womb of a mother. Something that seemed so real, so tangible, vanished one day under vile circumstances of your own doing.

That sad video of the stray pup that sits at the bottom of an empty reservoir, matted and mulled, sitting in its own urine and unable to stand up is what remains of my heart. Abandoned, alone, sick, and unable to process what has happened. Unable to see anything else but the remains of rewound memories, playing tirelessly as if to beat me into the ground further, and jeering at me with great pleasure. Shell shocked.

I can hear your voice clearly in my head. I can see the other mask staring back at me yelling,

"Look!

Look at her as she sits there with her small sagging breasts and her wrinkled face. She has been defeated. She cannot compare to the body of an 18 year old, she is old and tired and amounts to nothing. Look at what we have made of her. No longer does her strength magnify her beauty. Her creativity, mind, and soul lost to time and space and spread to unknown corners of the universe. Her talents buried deep in the ground never to be seen again. She can't even think for herself anymore as her mind has become mucus and destroyed with the pain that has cut her every which way possible. Just look at how pathetic she is. A life just to breath, eat, shit and then die forgotten by all. She was invisible anyway, no one cared enough. She matters to no one. Most of all she never mattered to me. I fooled her. I succeeded, my ego succeeded, I tore her down completely, I had the power to do so, I made me feel good about myself. It made me feel amazing and accomplished that I can have any stupid and completely gullible female I want. Another one for the collection. Another one for the jar to look at — a specimen that is dead. This one will be labeled 'The One' since she was the hardest and the most work, she will be placed next to all that easy hoes that walked into my trap without a second thought starting with Moscow, Hungary, Greece, Bulgaria, Romania, Poland, New York, Canada, Melbourne, Amsterdam, Italy, Pittsburgh... "

Do you feel proud?

Is your ego filled?

Do you sleep well at night?

Do you enjoy running away from the hit-and-run that you willingly take part of?

Do you have the slightest understanding of how damaging and permanent your actions are?

Do you know who you are yet?

Do you? Do you?