I am crawling out of my skin because I want you so bad. Just for a second, a half a minute, just touch my face and even that would be enough. I could devour you completely if you'd give me a glass of red and a chance.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
A laugh but not out loud (….lnol…..jesus.) -HM
An after thought inspired by My Egocentric Delights Blog called Somewhere over that goddamn rainbow
The dark circles under my eyes can't even begin to explain how i feel. Somewhere along the lines of an aged ape dragging it's knuckles along a long gravel road trying to reach water in the blazing heat. The wrinkles around my eyes embedded in the thinning skin remind me that as each day flies at the speed of light, i am still here, in the same spot i was 10 years ago, only older and still searching for that genius of inspiration. My thinning hair and mal-tempered ways are my irritation with myself and all i could be but am not. The dream never reached, not yet ( do i still carry some idiotic drop of hope?), and just tired of all the attempts, the ideas, the creativity that has sucked the life out of me. Too much too fast, like a sprint instead of a steady jog through life. Perhaps he's right. My memory fails me on his quote so i have to go back and find it, how i despise aging. Here, yes...
"It’s all a big joke. Leave now. Take off at top speed homeward and fix yourself a dry martini with four parts vodka instead of the usual two. And no olives." Harry Merkin
Why these words ring true to me? I can only guess that I have found that with age my passion has transitioned to drinking, consuming a foodie diet, and cooking rather than creating anything note worthy anymore. The flames of passion are out and surrounded by a dark and cold winter storm. Buried under thick ice, perhaps a fucking glacier at this point. Mentally I think that the four parts vodka are just a stiff does of reality but backwards. The reality being the four parts, hard and burning as it goes down. The irony of it all is that I would do it to momentarily forget that I suck. A dose of reality to kill the pain? So cheers... LNOL
The dark circles under my eyes can't even begin to explain how i feel. Somewhere along the lines of an aged ape dragging it's knuckles along a long gravel road trying to reach water in the blazing heat. The wrinkles around my eyes embedded in the thinning skin remind me that as each day flies at the speed of light, i am still here, in the same spot i was 10 years ago, only older and still searching for that genius of inspiration. My thinning hair and mal-tempered ways are my irritation with myself and all i could be but am not. The dream never reached, not yet ( do i still carry some idiotic drop of hope?), and just tired of all the attempts, the ideas, the creativity that has sucked the life out of me. Too much too fast, like a sprint instead of a steady jog through life. Perhaps he's right. My memory fails me on his quote so i have to go back and find it, how i despise aging. Here, yes...
"It’s all a big joke. Leave now. Take off at top speed homeward and fix yourself a dry martini with four parts vodka instead of the usual two. And no olives." Harry Merkin
Why these words ring true to me? I can only guess that I have found that with age my passion has transitioned to drinking, consuming a foodie diet, and cooking rather than creating anything note worthy anymore. The flames of passion are out and surrounded by a dark and cold winter storm. Buried under thick ice, perhaps a fucking glacier at this point. Mentally I think that the four parts vodka are just a stiff does of reality but backwards. The reality being the four parts, hard and burning as it goes down. The irony of it all is that I would do it to momentarily forget that I suck. A dose of reality to kill the pain? So cheers... LNOL
Air
Your image tranquil day by day
lost in the depths of your blue bay
Knowing I to you am neither
Here, existing, in life's seether
Like a silence, never broken
Never taken, never spoken
Fused in air and fire and water
Two souls merge as Earth's daughter
At the edge of your divide
Til then I am gone, I will hide
Seek my being, search the world
Satellite here as a girl
lost in the depths of your blue bay
Knowing I to you am neither
Here, existing, in life's seether
Like a silence, never broken
Never taken, never spoken
Fused in air and fire and water
Two souls merge as Earth's daughter
At the edge of your divide
Til then I am gone, I will hide
Seek my being, search the world
Satellite here as a girl
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