anger

i want to write, release this pain and anger i have, this gust of a hurricane that builds inside me, and when it comes time, i freeze. The exit if far too small for the load. a mental and emotional congestion occurs crippling all the words in my mind. stopping them, too much all at once. A million voices in my head all talking at the same time as if i were god. I don't believe in god, though i understand why god is needed. people are so shit that they need to fear. without it it seems people fear nothing. punishment , consequence, opinions, disease, nothing frightens those that lie, cheat, steal and abuse those that have trusted them. Men and women alike, live a gluttonous lives, filled with every desire at a whim, and ride it until they get caught, if they ever get caught. No fear, complete sanctification, getting their cake while eating it too. There is no moral authority above them, no punishment, no pain, no hell to burn in for eternity. only those left in a wake of pain by their manipulation and selfishness seem to burn in eternal flames of  disbelief and shock. God, i wish there were a God.

i guess i need to buy a pickup truck.