The Forgotten

I am the forgotten, the flawed past that a lover doesn't want to take on
I am the forgiver that bends light to love, but will never be forgiven for her one regretful choice
I'm the girl that men dream about but don't want to allow inside their soul 
I am the condemned, the tainted and the spoiled
I'm the girl that is teased with promises of love behind a thick glass window
I can only look but not touch, i can only watch as others kiss, touch, say tender words and love, while i drown inside from tears
I am the girl locked away in " all summer in a day", it's the story of my life
A starving girl that is forced to stand in front of the bakery, to smell lifes goodness but to starve slowly
Love tortures me with the memories and dreams of what was my bliss, my joy, my heart of life
I am tortured with future visions of my lover giving his best to someone other than me
I am the beggar, my chest pounding with fear as i wait for loves verdict
Awaiting to hear life's judge sentence me to the electric chair or give me eternal life
I am the one locked out of her home, pleading to come back in pleading for loves shelter and warmth, something i lived without for decades
Burning tears drip from my heavy heart, it's hard to move, hard to breath, hard to want to be here
I am the one that love can't be bothered with, the girl that love over looked
I must be nothing in his eyes, not worth the fight, not worthy the exchange, not worth his forever Yet,  I have been teased with love and the word "forever" that fell from his beautiful lips dozens of times
" you are stuck with me forever, you have no choice"
" I don't want a choice"
I have felt the passion run through my blood, energy of a soul mate, the friendship of truth...
Just to have it ripped from my grasp, torn from my chest like a baby by the Nazis  ... indian giver
I am the pathetic realist that knows that nothing else in life is worth living for
I am the anti materialist that knows paper, vast amounts of shit and success will never make my heart beat, will never love me back
I am the damned that is forced to live a life that has no meaning to it, without a pulse
I am the one that will wander like an empty bag of bones, dead inside from the constant burns, paralyzed with reality
nothing tastes good, nothing smells good, nothing sounds sweet, nothing makes me smile,
everything is pointless, lifeless, stillness is my enemy as minutes turn to years, they can't go by fast enough...my soul sucked out by hell into an eternity of screeching pain
each day a struggle to have purpose
I wait for the electric chair, i wait to be the forgotten